Customer Care in 2020

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"

Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator: "According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123.."

Customer: " ????"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: [Faints]

Good Messages

Friends are like shose, Some loose some tight, Some fit just right, They help u as u walk though life. Thanks 4 being my size.

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Think of life as a great road trip. If u spend 2 much time looking back at where U've been, U'll miss what's ahead.

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When the Going gets Tough, the tough gets going..

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Care for the one who Shares with u,
Share with the one who Knows u,
Know the one who MISSES u,
MISS the one who WELL WISHES for u,
Wish u all the Best.

Installing Husband 1.0

A DESPERATE WOMAN WRITES TO THE TECHNICAL SUPPORT GUY,


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from 'Boyfriend 5.0' to 'Husband 1.0' and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the 'flower' and 'jewellery' applications, which operated flawlessly under 'Boyfriend 5.0'.

In addition, 'Husband 1.0' uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
'Romance 9.5' and 'Personal Attention 6.5', and then installed undesirable programs such as 'NEWS 5.0', 'MONEY 3.0' and 'CRICKET 4.1'.

'Conversation 8.0' no longer runs, and 'Housecleaning 2.6' simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running 'Nagging 5.3' to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Woman
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Tech Support Reply,
DEAR DESPERATE Madam,

First, keep in mind, 'Boyfriend 5.0' is an Entertainment Package, while 'Husband 1.0' is an operating system.

Please enter command: 'ithoughtyoulovedme.html' and try to download 'Tears 6.2' and do not forget to install the 'Guilt 3.0' update.
If that application works as designed, 'Husband1.0' should then automatically run the applications 'Jewellery 2.0' and 'Flowers 3.5'.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause 'Husband 1.0' to default to 'Silence 2.5', 'Happy Hour 7.0' or 'Beer 6.1'.

Please note that 'Beer 6.1' is a very bad program that will download the 'Snoring Loudly Beta'.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install 'Mother-In-Law 1.0' under any circumstances (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the 'Boyfriend 5.0' program. These are unsupported applications and will crash 'Husband 1.0'.

In summary, 'Husband 1.0' is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: 'Cooking 3.0' and 'Hot Looks 7.7'.

Good Luck Madam!

Mother's Pray

Kindness Pays

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything," she replied

"Mother has taught us never to accept payment for a kindness." He said..."Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt; stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught ; her attention on the side as She read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk."(Signed) Dr. HowardKelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, GOD, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands."

WOW! (Voice From Heart To Express Your Feelings)

Last spring I was walking in a park. A short distance ahead of me was a mom and her three-year-old daughter. The little girl was holding on to a string that was attached to a helium balloon

All of a sudden, a sharp gust of wind took the balloon from the little girl. I braced myself for some screaming and crying.

But, no! As the little girl turned to watch her balloon go skyward, she gleefully shouted out, Wow!

I didn't realize it at that moment, but that little girl taught me something.

Later that day, I received a phone call from a person with news of an unexpected problem. I felt like responding with Oh no, what should we do But remembering that little girl, I found myself saying, Wow, that's interesting! How can I help you.

One thing's for sure - life's always going to keep us off balance with its unexpected problems. That's a given. What's not preordained is our response. We can choose to be frustrated or fascinated.

No matter what the situation, a fascinated Wow! will always beat a frustrated Oh, no.

So the next time you experience one of life's unexpected gusts, remember that little girl and make it a Wow! experience. The Wow! response always works.

We human beings are such small creatures.

So don't be too worried about everything, treasure every moment, do what you wish to do.

Message Is: Broaden your view, broaden your mind. Don't worry too much about things that are bothering you. Do treasure your loved ones, live safely and peacefully.

Mindset - 2007 (2)

Jul, 07 - Practise is work and work is fun

Success requires Passion

This is the story of Robby.

He was a young boy who lived with his elderly Mother. His mother wanted him to learn how to play the piano because she Longed to hear her son play for her. She sent her son to a piano teacher who took Robby in under her guidance.

However, there was one small problem Because Robby was not musically inclined and therefore was very slow in Learning.

The teacher did not have much faith in the boy because of his weakness. The mother was very enthusiastic and every week she would send Robby to the teacher.

One day Robby stopped attending the piano lessons. The teacher thought that He had given up and in fact she was quite pleased since she did not give Much hope to Robby. Not long after, the piano teacher was given the task to Organize a piano concert in town. She sent out circulars to invite the Students and public to attend the event.

Suddenly, she received a call from Robby who offered to take part in the concert. The teacher told Robby that he was not good enough and that he was no longer a student since he had Stopped coming for lessons.

Robby begged her to give him a chance and Promised that he would not let her down.

Finally, she gave in and she put him to play last, hoping that he will change his mind at the last minute. When the big day came, the hall was packed and the children gave their best performance. Finally, It was Robby's turn to play and as his name was announced, he walked in. He was not in proper attire and his hair was not properly groomed.

The teacher was really Nervous since Robby's performance could spoil the whole evening's brilliant Performance.

As Robby started playing the crowd became silent and was amazed at the skill of this little boy. In fact, he gave the best performance of the evening. At the end of his presentation the crowd and the piano teacher gave him a standing ovation. The crowd asked Robby how he managed to play so brilliantly.

With a microphone in front of him, he said, "I was not able to attend the weekly piano lessons as there was no one to send me because my mother was sick with cancer. She just passed away this morning and I wanted her to hear me play. You see, this is the first time she is able to hear me play because when she was alive she was deaf and now I know she is listening To me. I have to play my best for her!


SUCCESS PRINCIPLES

This is indeed a touching story of love and excellence. When you have a passion and a reason to do something, you will surely excel. You may not be talented or gifted but if you have a strong enough reason to do something, you will be able to tap into your inner God given potential.

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE

Find the good. It's all around you. Find it, showcase it and you'll start believing in it.

Wonderful Thought (On Father Day)

"A conversation… this was narrated by an IAF pilot to IIT students on special seminar for HUMAN RELATION".

My parents left out native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on jet Airways.

The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time to travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on the day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage the baggage check-in and asking for window seat and waiting restless for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things.

As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him.

When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back to my life. As a child how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of there affordability, they have catered to all out needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us?

Some way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for the sake to see us happy, so it is out responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young, it is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.

Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asked me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I have realized how they would have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care need to be given to our parents and elders.

Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give best possible attention to all their wishes.

Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep scarifying for their grandchild also. They have wishes, too.

Take care of your parents.....

Mountain

A son and his father were walking on the mountains
Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: " AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

Curious, he yells: " Who are you?"
He receives the answer: " Who are you?"
Angered at the response, he screams: " Coward!"
He receives the answer: " Coward!"

He looks to his father and asks: " What's going on?"

The father smiles and says: " My son, pay attention."
And then he screams to the mountain: " I admire you!"
The voice answers: " I admire you!"
Again the man screams: " You are a champion!"
The voice answers: " You are a champion!"

The boy is surprised, but does not understand.

Then the father explains: " People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.

It gives you back everything you say or do.
Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.

If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.

If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.

This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life; Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!

A Touching One

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Life and Coffee

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: "If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."

Now, if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, but the quality of life doesn't change.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."

"Don't let the cups drive you...enjoy the coffee".
Your Goals MINUS Your Doubts = Your Reality.

Marvellous Answer

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work?"

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic...........
He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running".

Mindset of 2007

Jan, 07 - Person don't have goals, work for those people who have goals

Feb, 07 - Speak less, Say more

Mar, 07 - Time is money, don't waste time.

Apr, 07 - Smile is the curve which makes everything straight

May, 07 - There is no place like home.

June, 07 - Try, try, try until you achive your goal

Qainan Favourite Movies (2)

Troy, After the Sunset, Inside Man, Panic Room, Glory, Enemy At The Gates, Jurrasic Park, Butterfly Effect, Con Air

Qainan Favourite Movies (1)

Road to Perdition, The Terminal, Frequency, The Devil's Advocate, The Punisher, Face Off, Saw, Saw II, Cellular, The Island, The Sixth Sense, You've Got Mail, Tremors, Titanic, The Ring, Final Destination, Final Destination 2, Just Like Heaven,
The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, The Matrix, Gladiator, The Last Samurai, The Terminator, Cast Away, Ocean's Eleven, The Girl Next Door, The Italian Job, Enemy of the State, The Mask, Hitch, Jurassic Park, Braveheart, Flatliners, The Cave, Armageddon, Kiss of the dragon, Ronin, Congo, Fearless, Transpoter 1, Transpoter 2

Mindset of 2006

Jun, 06 - Do lots and expect less

Jul, 06 - Deserve before Desired

Aug, 06 - Winners Never Quit

Sep, 06 - Best Deserve Best

Oct, 06 - No Pain, No Gain

Nov, 06 - High Risk, High Return

Dec, 06 - Learn from Mistake. Try to learn only once