Installing Husband 1.0

A DESPERATE WOMAN WRITES TO THE TECHNICAL SUPPORT GUY,


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from 'Boyfriend 5.0' to 'Husband 1.0' and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the 'flower' and 'jewellery' applications, which operated flawlessly under 'Boyfriend 5.0'.

In addition, 'Husband 1.0' uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
'Romance 9.5' and 'Personal Attention 6.5', and then installed undesirable programs such as 'NEWS 5.0', 'MONEY 3.0' and 'CRICKET 4.1'.

'Conversation 8.0' no longer runs, and 'Housecleaning 2.6' simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running 'Nagging 5.3' to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Woman
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Tech Support Reply,
DEAR DESPERATE Madam,

First, keep in mind, 'Boyfriend 5.0' is an Entertainment Package, while 'Husband 1.0' is an operating system.

Please enter command: 'ithoughtyoulovedme.html' and try to download 'Tears 6.2' and do not forget to install the 'Guilt 3.0' update.
If that application works as designed, 'Husband1.0' should then automatically run the applications 'Jewellery 2.0' and 'Flowers 3.5'.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause 'Husband 1.0' to default to 'Silence 2.5', 'Happy Hour 7.0' or 'Beer 6.1'.

Please note that 'Beer 6.1' is a very bad program that will download the 'Snoring Loudly Beta'.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install 'Mother-In-Law 1.0' under any circumstances (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the 'Boyfriend 5.0' program. These are unsupported applications and will crash 'Husband 1.0'.

In summary, 'Husband 1.0' is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: 'Cooking 3.0' and 'Hot Looks 7.7'.

Good Luck Madam!

Mother's Pray